Relationship,Happiness,and,The DIY Relationship Happiness and The Four Freedoms

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Right this moment, just as you are, you have four unimaginablypowerful resources at your command. With them you can accomplishmiracles. They are your Four Freedoms of Body, Mind, Heart, and Soul. Although you are already innately aware of these elemental forces—theirstrength, dynamism, and wonder—the wise inner voice of your higher selfbecomes overwhelmed in a world of speed, superficiality, andcomplexity. Reclaiming your Four Freedoms helps you to hear truthagain, to remember who you are and why you are in a body, and to gainemotional stability and courage as well as mental clarity and focusedattention. The Four Freedoms framework gives you a secure platform whenyour world begins to tremble and quake. The essence of freedomis choice. Embracing your Four Freedoms helps you become aware ofchoices available to you and gives you the strength to act on them. Ifyou fear that by diving headlong into freedom you will act selfishly orirresponsibly—considering only your ego’s wants—remember that suchthoughts are part of the captive mentality that claims the nature ofhumanity is evil and therefore must be denied or contained. The truthis that you are intrinsically glorious and worthy, despite your flaws.You always have the choice of acting from your shortcomings or actingfrom your greatness. When you are really free, you will naturally actfor the greatest good of yourself and others, because that is the truenature of your highest self. As you begin to explore your FourFreedoms, you might feel more comfortable with one or two and want togloss over or ignore the others. If you are intensely emotional, youmight resist exercising your rationality. An overriding mental focusmight block you from enjoying the pleasures of your body. A potentphysicality might distract you from the realm of spirit. Or, preferringto seek peace in the inner realm of soul, you might shy away from theturbulence of emotion and the temptations of pleasure. However, youwill not have the relationship you long for by suppressing or denyingany of your Four Freedoms. You must embrace, explore, and balanceall—Body, Mind, Heart, and Soul—no matter how irrelevant or frighteningthe components might seem. Freedom is not just an intellectualor philosophical idea. You manifest freedom in your behavior. Youchoose and you act. Use the platform of the Four Freedoms to help youmake your choices. They will let you know when there is something newto learn or something old to unlearn. Unfortunately, you cannot changemerely by thinking about it. To both learn and unlearn effectively, youneed to adjust your behavior. Behavioral changes help shift yourthoughts and feelings about yourself by providing positive feedbackwhen you act in new ways. Behavioral changes are more effective thansimply trying to alter thought patterns loaded with years ofconditioned beliefs and assumptions. Some changes you’ll make on yourown, others you’ll tackle together. The good news is that you don’thave to wait until you’re certain you can create an exceptionalrelationship before you enter into one. You really become fit for arelationship only by being in a relationship. You learn by doing,because your relationship is most definitely an experientialphenomenon. The ongoing practice of integrating your Four Freedomsenhances your relationship. In turn, your strengthened relationshipamplifies your personal growth and quickens your spiritual progress.Your relationship and your spiritual journey are mutually supportive.Indeed, your relationship can become your spiritual practice. Thegood news is that you don’t have to wait until you’re certain you cancreate an exceptional relationship before you enter into one. Youreally become fit for a relationship only by being in a relationship.You learn by doing, because your relationship is most definitely anexperiential phenomenon. The ongoing practice of integrating your FourFreedoms enhances your relationship. In turn, your strengthenedrelationship amplifies your personal growth and quickens your spiritualprogress. Your relationship and your spiritual journey are mutuallysupportive. Indeed, your relationship can become your spiritualpractice. As you continue along your path of freedom, you willalso receive support from the universe, for creating love over alifetime is a developmental process that synchronizes with the naturalorder by aligning the forces of change, learning, and loving. You beginto understand that you will not become whole or free by finding yourmissing half in a loving partner. Rather, two whole people recognizeeach other as soul mates and learn the skills needed to create love fora joyous lifetime together. The Four Freedoms—Body, Mind, Heart, andSoul—are your building blocks for the relationship you crave so deeply. Excerpted from our book Sensual Love Secrets for Couples: The Four Freedoms of Body, Mind, Heart and Soul, by Al Link and Pala Copeland, Llewellyn, 2007