The,Lovers,Curse,Memory,How,He DIY The Lovers Curse Of Memory: How To Be Here Now In Bed

Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;mso-style-noshow:yes;mso-style-parent:"";mso-padding-alt:0in When starting a new work at home business it is very easy to become consumed by it. We spend so much time trying to get the business up and running that we may end up becoming burned out and lose our motivation. There is so much to learn and

The curse of memory is that memory robs us of being in the moment.We remember the last time we saw something and we see it as we rememberit, rather than as it is NOW. We remember how something tasted, and wetaste it now as we remember it was. We do the same with all the senses.We hear what we remember having heard before. We smell what we havealways smelled. We feel what we felt before. We don’t walk up thestairs NOW, we walk up the same stairs we have walked up hundreds orthousands of times before without any awareness of what we are doing.We touch our lover’s body from memory. It is not real skin, it is theskin we remember touching hundreds or thousands of times before. And weget bored with our memory. And we hate to be bored. And we wantsomething new. Variety, something new, reawakens our senses. If wetouch new skin, we pay attention in a way that makes us aware we arealive. If we smell new pheromones, our nose confirms that we are alivewith excitement and arousal. If we taste new wine, our mouth awakens toexhilaration. The only way most people know how to feel aliveis through variety. They have no other strategy to employ. Being in theNOW MOMENT is something you may conclude just happens to you now andagain, almost by accident. You may even assume it only happens when youtry something for the very first time, or for those exceptional thingsthat are so outstanding and excellent that they can repeatedlytransform you into high states of being, for example a favoriteselection of music, or intercourse with someone new for say the first103 times! After that it is memory again and time to move on to someonenew! Variety is the spice of life! But once you learn toconsciously, intentionally, deliberately stay in the moment, eachmoment is unique and new and “as if” for the very fist time. In the NOWMOMENT, no matter how many times you have touched, tasted, smelled orseen your lovers skin, it is still as if it were the very first time!One of the tricks to staying in the now moment, is to become aware ofhow you are running on memory instead of being here now. Running onmemory is just like running on empty. That is why it cannot sustainexcitement, motivation and passion. There is just not enough juice inmemory to keep you going. Memory is quick to fill in theblanks, or complete the thought, or complete the sensory impression,before the whole has been received and integrated into experience. Forexample, at the first smell of a familiar body odor, our memory quicklysupplies the remainder before the whole of the smell has beenregistered in our sensory experience. It may remind you of a series ofmemories associated with that smell when you were a child or at someearlier time in your life. You may find yourself feeling emotions thatwere associated with that smell. It is this attachment of emotions frommemory that makes so much of what we take in with our five senses(hearing, taste, smell, touch, and seeing) positive or negative, goodor bad. One thing reminds us of another thing, and before you are awareof it you are off in thought about the past or the future, out of theNOW MOMENT. But if you really pay attention, you can trainyourself to take in information through your senses “as if” for thevery first time. When you do this, it is always new, always fresh,always “enough” because you are being in the NOW MOMENT. Confirm foryourself with repeated observations that when you are in the NOW MOMENTyou are complete, you are whole, nothing is missing, nothing more needsto be added. Variety is not the spice of life, being here now is!Here is an incredibly easy but powerfully effective way to rapidlyimprove the quality of your experience during lovemaking, by helpingyou get out of memory and get into the Now Moment. With this simpletechnique, we call the dial technique, men can learn to delayejaculation, women can learn to have multiple orgasms, you can overcomefeelings of embarrassment, shame and guilt, win over fear, worry andboredom, you can keep passion and excitement alive in your relationshipforever, and you can have lots more fun with your lover.Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) is a process of figuring out exactlyhow your brain does what it does, and then articulating that process ina technique or strategy that you or others can use to accomplish thesame end result. Since your brain creates some experiences that arepositive and other experiences that are negative, you can use NLP tostop doing what you don’t want and start doing more of what you dowant. For example, if you know how you make yourself bored duringlovemaking, you can stop doing that. If you know how you make yourselfexcited during lovemaking, you can do more of that. A key toNLP is the realization that states of being, states of consciousness,and feeling states are not things that just happen to you accidentally,i.e., you are not just a victim of the circumstances of your life. Withthe dial technique you can create a master control panel that displaysall the buttons you need to orchestrate your lovemaking into amasterpiece of creativity, joy and ecstasy. Success with Tantra lovemaking requires that you go out of your mindand get into your body. This means getting out of thought and intosensation. One form thought takes is memory. Memory is veryuseful for lots of things, but during lovemaking it can also be aproblem. You must learn to differentiate between what kind of memory ishelpful and what kind is not helpful. Your body remembering how to dothings, for example - keeping internal smooth muscles relaxed duringpeaks of sexual arousal, is very helpful, because this kind of memorydoes not mimic thought. But if your memory mimics thought it will putyou into your head and keep you out of your body. One of the mostpernicious types of memory is the memory of your lover’s body, or thememory of how lovemaking has previously progressed step-by-step, as apattern that you then repeat over and over. The problem withthis type of memory is that you may find yourself making love to amemory rather than a real person, even though that real person is rightin bed with you. This naturally leads to very unsatisfying lovemakingand gets boring very quickly. You may find yourself feeling andthinking, “every time we make love is just like every other time wemake love”. Pretty soon, your lovemaking drops off to almost nothing –no fun, no excitement, no passion, nothing new, and perhaps eventuallylittle or no lovemaking at all, or one or both of you seeks refreshmentin an affair. Sensation refers to the information that comes toyou through your senses – sight, sound, smell, taste, feeling(kinesthetic feelings such as heat/pressure, wet/dry, or hot/cold, notemotional feelings such as joy or fear). Great Tantric lovers havelearned how to filter out memory (go out of their minds) and how toturn up the intensity of sensation (get into their bodies).Here is a technique that lovers can use to help them go out of theirminds and get into their bodies. It is the dial technique. You can findall sorts of interesting variations for using this technique in otherareas of your life besides lovemaking. This technique is very simple touse. To apply this technique you simply create in your imagination onedial for whatever you want to diminish and/or another dial for whateveryou want to increase. In your imagination, create one dial thatcontrols your memory (the kind of memory that mimics thought, e.g.,remembering how something was the last time you did it), and createanother dial that controls sensation. Make the dials different colors,for example the memory dial can be blue (symbolic of thought) and thesensation dial can be red (symbolic for the body). Any colors that feelright for you will work. These are your dials after all. You can alsoput textures, and other personalized touches to your dials. For exampleyou could cover them with pieces of cloth that you are fond of. You canmake the buttons different sizes if you want. For example you mightwant the sensation dial (or the things you want to increase inintensity) really big and the memory dial (or the things you want todecrease in intensity) really small. During your lovemaking,find the dials in your imagination and turn the dial for memory waydown in intensity, strength, volume, or voltage to nothing at all. Atthe same time turn the sensation dial way up in intensity, strength,volume, or voltage to a very high level – a level that you arecomfortable with. Turning the dials up or down simply means, in yourimagination see your hand actually grab the button and turn it. Youcould also visualize a pointer on a dial screen increasing ordecreasing, or the lights on a digital light meter, such as theindicators of a stereo signal on an amplifier, increasing or decreasingas you turn the button. Use any aid to visualization that works for youto show increase or decrease in intensity. It is important thatyou don’t rush to the maximum intensity of sensation. You don’t want tobe frightened or feel overwhelmed if such feelings are new for you.Gradually increase the intensity of sensation during successivesessions of lovemaking. Once you have learned to do this you will nolonger need to rely on using your buttons. The dial technique is onlynecessary until you have learned to decrease or eliminate what youdon’t want and increase what you do want in your lovemaking. Afterthat, this process becomes automatic and your lovemaking is permanentlytransformed. Be creative in your use of this technique. Here are a few other suggestions for using the dial technique during lovemaking.Here are some examples of buttons you might want to create and thenturn down the intensity. These buttons could include any aspect of yourlovemaking that you are unhappy with. fear, quick male ejaculation response, worry, guilt, shame, embarrassmentHere are some examples of buttons you might want to create and thenturn up the intensity. These buttons could include any skill, knowledgeor feeling that you want to be more present in your lovemaking.Love, general relaxation response, internal smooth muscle relaxation,female orgasm response, female ejaculation orgasm response, joy, fun,playfulness, creativity, comfort Examples of buttons you mightwant to turn up if you want more or down if you want less: danger,excitement (sometimes too much is too much), vulnerability, and soforth. If you create a lot of buttons be aware of gettingyourself confused. It may be wise to use only a few buttons at a time.You might also record the buttons on paper. Draw pictures of thebuttons and clearly label them so later you can remember which buttonsare for which experiences. Drawing the buttons can also help you moreeasily visualize them in your imagination. You could also add numbersto the buttons. You could have red1, red2, etc. Once you havelearned how to use this technique, and your lovemaking has beensuccessfully transformed, you will find that every time you make loveis like the first time! You will feel that thrill, that excitement,that anticipation, that longing for your lover that you felt the firsttime you made love with them. In fact it is the first time, because youare not invoking thought/memory to compare it with. This is delightfulindeed, and is one of the secrets to staying in love and keepingpassion alive in a relationship that lasts a lifetime. This is a keyskill necessary to enable you to create love year after year with thesame person. This is one important way to keep a monogamous committedrelationship hot, sexy, juicy and exciting – indefinitely! Do you usethe dial technique? Don’t you wish every lover did?