The,Seriousness,Responding,ver DIY The Seriousness in Responding versus Reacting

When starting a new work at home business it is very easy to become consumed by it. We spend so much time trying to get the business up and running that we may end up becoming burned out and lose our motivation. There is so much to learn and Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;mso-style-noshow:yes;mso-style-parent:"";mso-padding-alt:0in

800x600 Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;mso-style-noshow:yes;mso-style-priority:99;mso-style-parent:"";mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;mso-para-margin:0in;mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;mso-pagination:widow-orphan;font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif";}As I write this, I have just returned frombeing away for a few days.  I expectedbased on past experience I would have quite a bit to catch up on when I cameback.  Between US mail, e-mail (2 accounts),voice mail (2 phones) and just touching base with immediate family members,there was quite a bit to absorb. Fortunately, I have made it through most of what was there for me when Ireturned, but one piece of e-mail I received left an impression on me that Iwould like to share with my readers.      Itcame via a monthly newsletter from IPEC (Institute for Professional Excellencein Coaching), the coaching school where I received my certification, and was inthe monthly inspirational piece that the founder Bruce D Schneider provides toIPEC students and alumni.  It read asfollows: “No matter what happens,somebody will find a way to take it too seriously”.         Ihad reflected about the past several days. While my time away was enjoyable, as with any time that one findsthemselves in unfamiliar situations, things don’t always go as planned.  Travel connections can be delayed, (such asthe ones my wife and I had on our way home). We spent the last three days staying with a friend, and there were someadjustments to be made in terms of the living conditions.  Even a pleasant walk along the beach earlierin the vacation was interrupted by a swarm of bugs that were popular at thistime of year in the environment where we were staying.     While I would love to say that I accepted each of these situations asthey came, and did not take the consequences of them too seriously, I know Iwould be lying.  In fact, I’m proud tosay my wife displayed far better control through most of them, (as she usuallydoes with most situations she encounters in her day to day life).  Why did I react, as opposed to respond to thesituations that I was presented?  In hispiece in the newsletter, Schneider indicated that for some reacting, as opposedto responding, is done just out of habit. For others, there is an adrenaline rush in reacting.  In either case, those who react live atlife’s effect as opposed to choosing to respond in a way that may be lessstressful to them.     WhenI’ve caught myself reacting as opposed to responding, especially since I’veincreased my knowledge of emotions and attitudes in my coaching studies, I’vequestioned myself as to why I react as I do? I agree with the concept that some of it is a habit.  Some of it has been learned by having seen theactions of my elders as I was growing up. Often it comes from thinking ahead and anticipating the worst casescenario as opposed to fully analyzing the situation at the moment andrealizing that all steps have not played out. When I am able to get back to a more response oriented mode, I find thatI’m usually able to see that even the most uncomfortable of situations for mewill eventually pass, sometimes within minutes or hours.  As I’ve often indicated in my writings we allhave the choice as to how we choose to respond. It is, however, also something we can quickly forget when we let ouremotions override our actions.    Therefore, the next time you find yourself taking part in a situationthat you realize may have you more upset than you want to be, question yourselfas to how serious the situation really is. What is the outcome that you desire to have happen?  What do you need to change to make it happen?  If the situation plays out as it is going,what is truly the worst thing that will happen? Will someone be seriously hurt, such as incurring bodily injury?  Or is it really a case of one individualinterpreting a situation one way and another interpreting it completelydifferently.  If it is that uncomfortablefor you, how do you choose to avoid having the same set of circumstances happenagain, so as to be more comfortable the next time around.     For me, allof my uncomfortable situations ultimately came and went.  There were even other occurrences thathappen, (and they often do when you are out of your regular environment), whereI was in a mindset to respond as oppose to react.  I also came to realize that even in spite ofall that I learn in my studies that I’m still a human being with feelings andemotions, and as such may not always put into practice as easily as I desirethat which I truly have learned and believe. However, I’m aware far more quickly now when my emotions have takencontrol of me, as opposed to the other way around.  As such, when I do get myself back on an evenkeel, I’m able to enjoy those events happening around me far more quickly thanI did in the past, when I might let them churn inside me for hours on end.  Maybe there’s hope for me after all.