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What to do? There is someone at work you really have difficultyliking. It may be mild or it may be on your mind long before youget to the office in the morning. This can have a devastatingeffect on your day, not to mention on your career. Recently itwas reported that, aside from promotion and better salary, mostpeople leave their positions because of expressed or unexpressedconflict at work. So, you're in good company!That information is stunning because it demonstrates the needfor pro-active communication and conflict management training inthe workplace. Equip yourself with these skills. They will beendlessly useful in all areas of your life. When I work on theseskills with corporate groups, you can feel the relief in theair. Folks feel a greater sense of self-confidence when theyhave the skills to confront difficulties. Makes sense, doesn'tit? If your workplace is suffering, work with your employer tohave the issue recognized and addressed. Just one or two days oftraining can make an enormous difference.Think of the lack of productivity that the stress of conflictcreates. Who can attend to their work when they are concernedabout possible confrontations, accusations or 'cold shoulders'?People have feelings. Feelings are powerful. Fear is one of themost powerful, and that's what's showing up when you work in atension-filled environment. There is enough tension in thecreativity and the deadlines that normal, productive workcreates. Who needs tension caused by fear, poor communicationand small minds?The first and most important thing to do is to exam your ownbehavior. How are you treating that person you perceive asdifficult? Is there anything in your posture, facial expressionor tone of voice that prevents friendly interaction? Often, whenyou have already decided that you don't like someone, or thatthey don't like you, that attitude is conveyed in yournon-verbal communication. Work on yourself first.Invite the other person out to lunch or coffee. This is adiscovery time. Learn more about them. Are they havingdifficulties in their life outside the workplace? What intereststhem? What might you have in common that could move yourrelationship in a better direction? Spend this time learning.OK, you have nothing in common. They were miserable andclose-mouthed. Nothing good came from it. Good. You now knowthat you made the effort and can rest comfortably with that.Next step, ask them for a meeting in the office. This takescourage, but, how much courage is it currently taking just toshow up every day? However, this is not a 'let-me-fix-you'type of meeting. Prepare for the meeting by creating a list ofopen-ended questions that will hopefully create discussionbetween you such as "How can we improve the relationship betweenus?" "What can we do to work together more collaboratively?"Signify your willingness to create a workable relationship.What is the other person is not even mildly interested inconversing about change? That is when you have a decision tomake. Live with it, or take it to the next level. The next levelinvolves bringing a third person into the conversation, a personwho is willing to manage the situation because it is in the bestinterest of the workplace. A mediator may be offered. There maybe other people on your team who are experiencing the samedifficulties with the same person. This makes change moreimperative for your superior. Point out the benefits of managingthis issue to the company.No matter how it seems, no one really likes conflict. Somepeople create it because it makes them feel they have a modicumof control. Others create it as a cover for how little they aredoing. Others have their own reasons and needs for keepingthings in an uproar. You, though, are always at choice. You canalways do something to remove the tension even if it meansmaking a career shift. Sometimes, it's worth it, but only afteryou have done everything in your power to improve things.Confrontation is not a four-letter word!

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