Turn,Your,Difficult,Business,C business, insurance Turn Your Difficult Business Conversations into Productive P
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How many times do you walk away from aconversation wondering whether youve gotten yourpoint across, been understood, resolved the issueor reached an agreement that will result in theoutcomes you want and. through the conversation,enriched the relationship rather than constrictedit?Robust, high-quality conversation is the linchpinto productive work relationships inhigh-performing teams, organizations andbusinesses. High-stress, fast-paced,action-oriented environments such as health caresettings can predispose to communications that arequick, telescoped or truncated, easily leading tomisunderstanding and breakdowns in relationships,teamwork, and organizational climate, all of whichimpact employee satisfaction and customersatisfaction.Yet difficult conversations are a fact of life, nomatter how skillful we are at communication.Typically we find ourselves with twounsatisfactory options: we are anxious andtherefore take no action, which is costly, or weovercome our anxiety and take action but in anunhelpful way, which is also costly.Generally what occurs is a cycle of non-agreementin which there is a strong conflict of views aboutwhat to do that is not expressed, leading to acompromise agreement or delay. What follows arenon-existent, half-hearted or incompatible actionsthat generate lousy results and mutual blame. This then becomes a self-perpetuating cycle.How do you actually change the course of adifficult conversation, whereby both partiesengage in new learning that leads to productiveaction? While many factors come into play, onefoundational practice can profoundly shift thecourse of a difficult conversation:The Power of Empathic ListeningOne of the deepest human desires is to be listenedto, heard, and understood. Listening to othershelps them listen to you, thereby transforming theconversation. In emotionally chargedconversations where opinions vary and the stakesare high, empathic listening is the key. Thereare three core listening skills to practice: Inquiry: Ask open questions that provideinformation and meaning, such as What did younotice? or What did you think? or Whatconclusions did you draw? Paraphrasing: Ask questions that check yourunderstanding against what the other person meant,such as When you said this, did you mean... Acknowledgment: This may be the mostunder-utilized but powerful tool for defusingnegative emotions. What makes conversationsdifficult is that people have strong feelings. Acknowledgement of anothers frustration, upset,or anger goes a long way to defusing the emotionalcharge that blocks ease of communication. Phrasessuch as I can see how angry you feel or If Iwere in your shoes, I would probably feel just asfrustrated honor the other persons reality evenif you dont agree with their perspective.To transform a difficult conversation intoproductive problem solving, uncovering assumptionsprovides the key to greater mutual understanding.Therefore, explore the others views andexperience first. Then share your views andexperience. Only after both parties views areclear does it make sense to problem-solve.Although it may seem counter-intuitive, the timetaken to engage in empathic listening andrespectful sharing of divergent perspectivesgreatly increases the quality and speed of problemsolving. While engaging in difficultconversations often feels risky and challenging,the price of not having them - lost time andproductivity and less than optimal results - couldcost you and your organization far more than thetime and effort of doing so.(c) Copyright 2003. Manya Arond-Thomas, all rights reserved.
Turn,Your,Difficult,Business,C