POWERFUL,PARTNERING,Asking,the business, insurance POWERFUL PARTNERING

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“Asking is the beginning of receiving. Make sure you don't go tothe ocean with a teaspoon. At least take a bucket so the kids won'tlaugh at you.”Jim Rohn“You get the best out of others when you give the best of yourself.”Harvey Firestone"Collaboration will be the critical business competency of theInternet Age. It won't be the ability to fiercely compete, but theability to lovingly cooperate that will determine success. Ratherthan focusing on stomping the competition into the ground, trueleaders of the Internet Age will focus on creating value for theircustomers, intelligence and skill in their talent, and wealth fortheir investors and shareholders." James M. KouzesYou would think that after years of being married, I would haverealized that powerful business partnering requires the sameattention, perseverance, courage and skill as does personalpartnering. However, it's taken me several years to understand andnegotiate the complex process of forming successful businesspartnerships. Research from the Harvard Center for Negotiation reveals that 70%of all strategic alliances fail because people don't know how tomanage complex relationships which, of course, involve manydifficult conversations. My colleagues, Peter Norlin and Judith Vogel, define partnership as“a successful relationship in service to a specific task...thiscollaboration requires the creation of a special interpersonalconnection, [and entails] putting the relationship to work.”In any collaborative endeavor, there are two streams of activityoccurring concurrently. What's visible - above the water line - isthe focus on goals and task accomplishment. This is typicallywhere people focus because it's easier - usually less personal,less threatening, and it's what we're used to doing.However, it's the invisible stream below the water line that isequally if not more important. This is the stream of interpersonalinteraction and process ever present in a group of two or more,which often goes unaddressed because many people have less practiceand ease in this domain. Yet successful partnerships require self-awareness, discipline andintention in “working” the relational issues. Below the water line, there are two foundational elements that must be explored and discussed if you want to create high-performance formal partnerships - the selfas it relates to the other(s), and the identity of the partnershipas an entity. The latter involves clarifying the business vision, values, guidingprinciples and purpose for the business which I'll address atanother time. Working the relationship depends on being able to effectivelycommunicate about one's self to the other, and depends on severalcritical abilities of emotional intelligence: self-awareness,transparency, and influence.In the Norlin-Vogel partnership model, people forming partnershipsstart to pay attention to three deeply significant qualities in theother person. These are the status, motive, and competence of the“other.” Competence issues relate to the actual work. It's useful to makeexplicit the similar and different skill sets that people bring tothe partnership, and where problems might emerge as a function ofthat. A successful partnership is based on the belief andexperience that we can work together in a positive interdependence.Motive issues relate to whether I experience the “other” astrustworthy, and whether I trust their underlying motives forentering the partnership. Here, the ability of transparency comesinto play for there must be a certain degree of self-disclosure toengage in mutual exploration built on integrity and authenticity. Each person must answer the question “Will I be able to trust thisperson as we work together?” Other useful questions at thebeginning of the exploration are “What is my/your biggest fearabout this new venture? What is the worst thing that could happen?What compromises are you willing to make to ensure that it doesnot occur?”The third concern that potential partners hold is that of status,which reflects the balance of power and control that each personexperiences in relation to the other. The core ability ofinfluence is pivotal here, for each partner must feel that theyhave the ability to influence the other, and at the same time, bewilling to be influenced.Without self-awareness, the ability to consciously develop therelationship is limited. Similarly, self-disclosure on such deeplyheld inner experiences as status, motive and competence becomeseasier and richer to the degree that one is able look at oneselfobjectively.If you're entering, or considering a new partnership, spend sometime thinking about these issues. While you don't need to put“motive, status, and competence” on your agenda, find a structurefor the conversation that allows you both to explore these issues. Your partnership will only be the richer and more likely to succeedfor the intention you put into it.***********************************************ACTION STEPS YOU CAN TAKE!1. For a free list of questions that potential partners can ponder,send an email to [email protected] with “Partner Questions” inthe subject line.2. Assessments are a great way to get data and insight into thestrengths you have that you can maximize and at the same time,learn how to manage your weaknesses so they don't get in your way. To learn about how our assessments can help you, click here http://www.arond-thomas.com/assessments. 3. To learn more about executive leadership coaching and how it canhelp you get even better results, visithttp://www.arond-thomas.com/services. 884 words(c) Copyright 2003. Manya Arond-Thomas, all rights reserved.