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I've heard from quite a few people lately who have lost their jobs, taken pay cuts, or are otherwise in a tough situation. They are struggling, not just financially, but emotionally. For many people, the comfortable stability that we have grown accustomed to has been rocked. We will get through these difficult times. Many people will even recover in a way that is bigger and better than before. What will make the difference between those who continue to struggle and those who bounce back stronger than ever?Resiliency is the factor that differentiates those who survive tough times and those who thrive. Resiliency is the ability to bounce back after failure or disappointment. It's the ability to learn from difficulties and quickly move to a new and better place. Some people seem to show resiliency and others just don't.What do resilient people do? How can you become more resilient? Here are a few thoughts:· Look forward. By focusing on the past and dwelling on your losses, you waste valuable energy that could be used to plan a better future. The more time you talk about, think about, and complain about the bad things that are happening to you, the more time you are wasting. Resiliency is about moving forward.· Blame no one. It's easy to point fingers at others for our losses. Blame family members for unrest. Blame the boss for the organization's failures. Blame the government for the current economic conditions. The more time you spend blaming, the less time you spend planning the future. When you accept the adage, "It is what it is," it's easier to create a more positive future.· Ask yourself, "How am I better as a result of this experience?" Whether your challenge is personal, like a divorce, or professional, like a layoff, you have the opportunity to learn and grow. Resilient people take time to reflect on the experience and identify how the future will be better as a result of the challenge.· Plan to make the next adventure even better. Resilient people look at tough times as an adventure. At the end of every challenging event, adventurous types begin to plan the next challenge. The thrill of the adventure is the journey, all the way through the end and on to the next. If you see the challenges as adventures, the excitement that comes from that perspective can be energizing rather than draining.· Tell yourself, "No big deal." I catch myself saying this often and it's my way of moving on. When you make a mistake or when someone else disappoints, try meeting the situation with a "no big deal." It takes the pressure off. And, really, there are few things in life that are a big deal in the grand scheme of things, aren't there?Resiliency is the ability to accept who you are, where you are, for what you are and to move on with a positive attitude. Resiliency will get you through these difficult times. You can choose to be resilient or choose to be a victim. What's your choice?
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