How,Personality,Affects,You,Ha communication How Personality Affects How You Handle Sticky Situations and

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To better understand the Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model, youmust know more about the people you are “saying it” to before you apply it tosticky situations.  If we faced cardboardpeople everyday, who always acted the same way, we could apply the SIJR Modelright away.  Unfortunately (some may sayfortunately) people are different.  Thesedifferences require that we not only understand what to say and how to say it,but also to whom we are saying it.PersonalityOverlayTheThree C's (Change, Curiosity and Compassion) comprise the foundation of theSIJR Model, and the Decision Points (Costs, Limits, and Power Sources) hammerin the framework.  The PersonalityOverlay colors in the background behind the picture.  Imagine a photo of the forum in ancient Rome as we see it todaywith the rocks, columns, pieces of statuary and gravel foot paths.  Visualize an overlay that depicts the wayancient Romelooked centuries ago with intact buildings, temples, magnificent statues andelaborate houses.  That overlay shows usthe full picture.  Without that overlaywe cannot envision the way things were. Similarly, when dealing with sticky situations, we encounter people whooverlay reactions to the events around them. We must consider these people and their unique personality styles beforewe embark on a SIJR conversation. BEST Personality StylesTosimplify our analysis of personality, I selected the styles created by JamesBrewer, et al., in Power Management: A Three Step Approach for SuccessfulLeadership.Brewercreated a simple but effective survey to determine personality style. Unlike some of the more popular assessments,such as Myers-Briggs, whose styles baffle us and often disappear from ourmemories (ENFJ, ISTP), Brewer's style types are easy to identify: Bold,Expressive, Sympathetic and Technical (BEST).  Furthermore, if you cannot administer the MyBEST Profile, you can quickly observe behaviors and deduce one of the styles.  To order My BEST profile, go to http://www.hrdq.com.  Bear in mind, however, that behavior drivespersonality.  The better you are atwatching people, observing their verbal and nonverbal cues, the better adeptyou will get at predicting their personality preferences. BoldPersonality.  Action drives Bolds.  They make quick decisions, focus on results,compete with everyone, show determination to the point of stubbornness, andlove to multitask.  They communicate inshort sentences without elaboration or clarification.  They look at their watches frequently andcome to meetings on time or early.  Theydemand fast results from subordinates. They prefer not to work on teams because (in their view) teamwork wastestime. The Bold person loves challenges and adventure.  A group of Bolds often jumps to a quickdecision within minutes of getting a task and then spends the rest of the timelooking for new tasks. ExpressivePersonality. People stimulate Expressives.  They engage others with enthusiasm and apositive attitude.  They enjoy going tomeetings but often arrive late.  Whenthey enter a room, everyone notices them. A buzz of energy seems to follow them. Expressives dress in bold colors--reds, yellows, and oranges.  They initiate greetings by quickly sayinghello and shaking hands.  Althoughengaging, they lose interest when you talk about your family or other personalissues.  They prefer to tell you allabout themselves and their projects.  Agroup of Expressives struggles when asked to complete a task because each musttalk.  Instead of listening to oneanother, however, they vie for center-stage. At the end of the work time, the group reports that they enjoyedthemselves, but they did not reach a firm decision.SympatheticPersonality.  Sympathetics are loyal and unselfish.  They do not hesitate to help others so longas they show respect and trust.  Mostpeople find Sympathetics easy to be around because of their generosity andconcern for others.  The Sympathetics’compassion shows in their ability to listen whenever people share problems,home or work related.  A group ofSympathetics accomplishes whatever task you might give them.  They like to please.  Rather than take risks or think outside thebox, they tow the line in order to win the praise of their leaders.Sympatheticsthrive on appreciation.  They do whatthey believe you want.  Perhaps you can'timagine a sticky situation with a Sympathetic.  One of the most difficult things you mayencounter in your career is to give a good, loyal, obedient Sympathetic lowperformance measures or to inform a Sympathetic that his job is no longeravailable. TechnicalPersonality.  Technicals are logical, organized, cautious,and systematic.  They operate by therules.  They search for organization andlogic.  Often you can identify Technicalpersonalities by the state of their offices. Technicals carefully label files and line up pens in perfect order.  They prefer to work alone rather than inteams.  When they must work in teams,they tend to hold back rather than become fully interdependent team members.  If you put a group of Technicals together on aproject, it bogs down because no one steps up to make a decision, and eachholds back, preferring not to share his or her true views.Whenapplying the SIJR Model of communication, we make adjustments according to thepersonality overlay.  This is how itmight work.Boldconsiderations:·        Bolds will try to re-define your problem in their terms.·        Bolds tend to jump to the resolution before they join feelings withfacts.·        Bolds do not share a lot of information when you invite them to talk.·        Beware of too easy solutions. Bolds jump to the quickest, easiest solution.Expressiveconsiderations:·        Expressives will have no trouble talking and you probably will not haveto “invite” them to talk.·        Expressives want to give solutions they feel you want to hear.  They want you to like them.·        Expressives tend to turn the problem to their own advantage and persuadeyou to think as they do.·        Beware of the Expressives’ ability to misinterpret the problem becausethey have trouble listening.Sympathetic Considerations·        Sympathetics prefer not to talk about problems.  They will not share a lot when you invitethem to talk.·        Because Sympathetics despise conflict, you’ll need to help them identifythe issues.·        Sympathetics have no trouble sharing feelings and will easily joinfeeling with fact.·        Beware of coming to a quick resolution because you don’t want to hurtthe Sympathetics’ feelings.Technical Considerations·        Technicals have a lot of trouble joining feeling with fact because, intheir view, feelings are not logical.·        Technicals will quickly grasp the problem but will not share very muchinformation when you invite them to talk.  They are too cautious to share until they feelsafe.·        Technicals want to feel a sense of “evenness.”  Be sure when you negotiate the resolution,you include a balance of things you will do along with what they agree to do.