Criticism,Hurts,Valuable,Way,T communication Criticism Hurts! – A Valuable Way To Turn Criticism Into Po

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Have you ever been toldsomething that truly hurt your feelings? Have you ever been criticized and it stopped you in your progress?  Have you become paralyzed from taking actionbecause of fear of being told unpleasant things?  Most everyone hates to be told negativethings about themselves, yet with a fresh perspective and by adopting someempowering beliefs, you can change your life in a very positive way.Every human being has a needto feel important and appreciated.  Weall love to hear words of affirmation and praise.  We love to hear how good we are at something,and if things aren’t perfect, we all want to hear words of encouragement.  It would truly be ideal if we all gave andreceived positive words of encouragement and praise, yet it doesn’t alwayshappen.  When we are told words thatare less than pleasant, either directly or indirectly through gossip, we have achoice to make.  Most people make a verypoisonous choice at this point, which is to allow themselves to feel worse andto reactive in negative and destructive ways. This is the very instance when you need to stop and see criticism in anew light.  First, look at criticismsimply as feedback, and the most powerful belief you can adopt is this:FEEDBACK IS A GIFT!  If you truly believethat feedback is a valuable gift, then you treat it as something precious andof value.  It doesn’t matter if thefeedback was negative or positive, it is all a gift.  In fact, I’ll be so bold to assert thatnegative feedback may be even more valuable since it may point out more quicklyareas upon which you can improve.Steven K. Scott gives apowerful metaphor for criticism.  Heexplains that it is like being hit in the face with a bucket of water and sand.  In addition to the water and sand that mostpeople mistakenly focus on, there are also bits of gold if you know what youare looking for and you know how to find it. Scott explains that the “water” in the criticism represents items thatwere exaggerated, absurd, or meaningless. The “water” can be dismissed because it really doesn’t mean much.  The “sand” in the criticism is by far themost irritating and hurtful, and represents the specific words used, the toneof voice, the spirit of the criticism, etc. You must resist the urge to become defensive and argumentative when youfeel the “sand”.  You must dismiss the“sand”, which will give you the power to find the “gold”.  And finally, the “gold” in the criticismrepresents the truths that can be drawn from the criticism that can help youbetter perform in the future.  These arespecific items where you can take action and make a change.In the case of criticism,your reaction is everything, and your reaction will come from what we believeand how you interpret the criticism. Ideally, no matter how harsh and negative the criticism, you shouldlisten without judgment and be grateful for the criticism.  Then when you are alone and can think aboutwhat was said, you can separate the meaningless “water” in the criticism andthrow it away.  You can then discard theirritating “sand”, and accept that the more hurtful and venomous the criticismis, it is only a representation of the pain the other person feels inside, andit is being manifested outwardly.  Youcan dismiss it knowing that it wasn’t a personal attack (even though it mayhave sounded or even felt like a personal attack).  Just know you need to let it go.  At that moment the real valuable “gold” inthe criticism will appear.  The “gold” isthe ideas or suggestions about how you can improve and be better.  If you will accept these valuable insightswith gratitude, they can change your life, especially if you’ll then take themand act on them toward making a positive change in your life.There may be a rare caseonce in a while when you receive criticism, and there is no “gold”.  It may simply be a personal attack, andnothing more.  In those cases, simplyacknowledge the pain the other person must be feeling, and dismiss the entirething and move on.  There is no value inholding on to it…let it go.This technique of acceptingcriticism may seem over-simplified, yet it does not need to be any morecomplicated.  The value from allcriticism comes when we can accept all feedback and criticism as valuablegifts, take the time to sift through it to find the true value, then takeaction to making a change.  What you willobserve by implementing these habits into your life is that negative feedbackwill begin to be less intense and less frequent until it is gone almostentirely from your life.  The positiveshift will all come about because you made a decision to take all forms offeedback and make a change within yourself.Now, go seek for thevaluable gift of feedback!