Becoming,More,Consistent,Paren family Becoming a More Consistent Parent A Simple Suggestion
Raising a family can be challenging and stressful at times. However, the common goals and emotional, financial, and physical investments made can be a common bond between husband and wife. One that compliments their marriage relationship.Of A lot of women avoid wearing nice clothes when they getpregnant because they believe that they look fat or ugly. You know that theresnothing more beautiful than a pregnant woman glowing and smiling, so youshouldnt hide your body during p
I share the question on almost every parent's mind : How do I get my kids to do what I want them to do and not do what I dont want them to do? My struggle with consistency happens to be my weakness in this quest. One tool my wife and I have developed to address this issue is a family system. We got the idea from our work in the business world. The emotional ties are different. But when it comes to structure, families and businesses have a lot in common. They are both organizations of people with a common purpose. So, what can we learn from successful businesses that will help us build more successful families?Nearly every successful business has a well-defined system. Systems provide structure. Systems provide accountability. Systems provide mutual understanding of expectations. Systems make work easier. Systems are tools that allow ordinary people to obtain extraordinary results. Systems provide the results most parents desire -- a consistent method to encourage good behaviors and to discourage bad ones.As you develop your family system youll want to define the following items: - a simple set of family rules, - minimum acceptable behaviors,- unacceptable behaviors,- a way to reward good behaviors and penalize bad ones.You should also write it down and communicate it to everyone in the family.My wife and I own a speaking, training, and consulting business. We speak and train on human behavior, leadership, and communication topics. Everything we have learned in the business world says two things:1) Control and fear tactics create minimal performance, and2) Positive reinforcement creates high-level performance. We teach business leaders to use positive reinforcement to inspire their teams. Yet we sometimes find ourselves tilting more towards fear and intimidation when working with the people we love the most -- our children. Our negative disciplinary approaches are not usually the result of poor understanding. Instead, they come from fatigue, stress, and strong emotional ties. A system also helps to remove stress and fatigue from the equation when handling disciplinary issues. Do the work to create pre-defined rules, expectations, and definitions of consequences. Then you will feel less stress and frustration as you work to guide, correct, and instruct your children. Youll be free to focus on relationship issues rather than on task issues.You may use this article for electronic distribution if you will include all contact information with live links back to the author. Notification of use is not required, but I would appreciate it. Please contact the author prior to use in printed media.Copyright 2005, Guy Harris
Becoming,More,Consistent,Paren