Are,You,Parenting,From,Guilt,P family Are You Parenting From Guilt?
Raising a family can be challenging and stressful at times. However, the common goals and emotional, financial, and physical investments made can be a common bond between husband and wife. One that compliments their marriage relationship.Of A lot of women avoid wearing nice clothes when they getpregnant because they believe that they look fat or ugly. You know that theresnothing more beautiful than a pregnant woman glowing and smiling, so youshouldnt hide your body during p
Parenting from guilt is a hazard that befalls manysingle parents. You know you're stuck if you have repetitive negativethoughts that forecast doom and gloom, like, "What have I done? Mychildren are never going to be able to get over this divorce!" Frequentpangs of guilt rob you of the ability to enjoy the positive experiencesof life. You assume the worst and conclude the divorce is to blame forcommon childhood situations such as your child doing something wrong,acting out, or simply having a bad day. You berate yourself andsecond-guess your decisions and instincts.As divorced parents,we must realize that guilt is actually a choice. As Eleanor Rooseveltonce said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."Similarly, no one can make you feel guilty without your consent andparticipation in buying a ticket for the guilt trip. Sometimes weexpress guilt as a way to elicit sympathy from others or as a way tostay stuck and powerless. Ultimately, languishing in a sense of guiltis not doing your children any favors.Parenting from guilt cancause you to focus on "doing" things with your children, as opposed to"being" with them. The "Disneyland Dad" phenomenon is a result offalling into the parenting from guilt pitfall. Dads and Moms alike fallprey to trying to make up for lost time and connection with theirchildren by packing every minute they have the kids with fun-filledadventures. Basic discipline may fall by the wayside. The cost oftrying to force every moment to be "all positive" is that childrenstart to equate being loved with the presence of special gifts, uniqueexperiences, and fewer rules.Here are some strategies to stop parenting from guilt:1. Be Aware of Any Active Guilt Complexes Awareness of your default programming and guilt complexes is thefirst and most crucial step in releasing old patterns. Simply start bynoticing where your thoughts or actions are motivated by guilt. It canbe helpful to write your observations down. Keep affirming to yourselfthat guilt is simply a choice and that it may not serve you or yourchildren. Remind yourself that you're doing the best you can with thetools you have and that your goal is to become wiser and stronger eachday.2. Choose "Being" Instead of "Buying" The most important gift you can give your children is your love. Itgets more challenging to express that love on a daily basis simplybecause you now live for some portion of time under a different roofthat your child. Some studies have shown that American parents spendless than 12 minutes daily connecting with their children. When you arewith your children they want YOU - your attention, your listening, andyour physical presence. Instead of buying your children's affection,start a tickle fight or a card game. Those moments of connection willbring much stronger closeness and love than a dozen new computer games.3. Question Yourself If you are plagued with guilt about your children's well-being,question yourself honestly. Is that really the truth? Or is that just afear? I created an acronym for fear that it is "Feeling Expansion AndResisting." Fear is simply an indicator that you are at the edge ofyour existing comfort zone. Can you remember a time when youranticipation of an event made you afraid and yet when you went throughit, you were surprised and relieved it wasn't as bad as you thought?Find a productive way to express those doubts and fears. Journaling orspeaking with a trusted friend is a great start. Acknowledge fear asjust another sign that you are moving beyond what feels familiar to youand celebrate your growth as a human being. Article Tags: Parenting From Guilt, Parenting From, From Guilt
Are,You,Parenting,From,Guilt,P