Treating,Abuse,and,Trauma,Norm health Treating Abuse and Trauma

If the vagina is not offering the firm grip to your male partner, he expresses displeasure in lovemaking. You need to tighten the orifice and regain lost elasticity. You can make use of herbal remedies for loose vagina treatment naturally. H The technology behind listening devices has improved dramatically in recent years, giving new hope to those with impairment. While still far from a perfect replacement for the natural ability to hear, these devices give those with a disabili

Normal 0 false false false EN-US JA X-NONE /* Style Definitions */table.MsoNormalTable{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;mso-style-noshow:yes;mso-style-priority:99;mso-style-parent:"";mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;mso-para-margin:0in;mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;mso-pagination:widow-orphan;font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Cambria;mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} "Therapists who work with adults abused as children have oneoverriding goal, that is to repair the client's self-image.  Once the client's self image is repaired, heor she is on the road to full recovery."Eliana Gil - Treatment of Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse If you think it happened, it probably did. Many times clients are ambivalent about the therapeutic process.Why treat abuse? It’s so painful; I just have to block better. If you couldblock it better you wouldn’t be here in the first place. The primary reason totreat your abuse is because in addition to limiting and impairing your ownlife, if you don't deal with your abuse, you may very well repeat it with yourown or other children. At the same time that we begin to treat the trauma we need to helpclients understand what happened to them psychologically when they were abused. Their boundaries were violated.Their sense of control in the world was underminedIt was confirmed to them that they were powerlessIt gave them the message that they were of little value and weremeant to be used.It created shame and guilt - they were a part of something uglyand it kept happening - maybe at some point they even allowed it or likedit.  They made a pact with abuse in orderto survive. That last point is very powerful - whether they disassociated,started to manipulate the survivor, responded inappropriately to the abuse orfound some other means to get through it - they now blame themselves for theirsurvival instincts.  The self-loathing isvery intense. If they did try to tell someone and they weren't believed, or ifthey were punished for attempting to tell the truth, they were furthertraumatized, and it was confirmed that they were worthless and dirty. Eversince then they have felt as if there is something inherently wrong with them -this belief isolates them. They can't allow anyone to get too close becausethey will discover what a worthless, evil person they are. If you were abused - your true feelings and instincts were shutdown.  You may feel that your primary worth is sexual and use it as aweapon or you may totally cut off from sex and your sexuality.  If you were also severelyemotionally abused, there may be no sense of primary worth. Research shows thatthe lowest self-esteem is found among those who have been emotionally abused,next come the sexually abused, and the least affected are those who have beenphysically abused (except of course in extreme conditions). Adult survivors ofsexual abuse can go on to lead successful "outer" professional lives- adult survivors of severe emotional abuse have a much harder time navigatingtheir external, professional lives. Trauma resolution goes hand in hand with treating thepsychological problems caused by childhood abuse. Trauma resolution is a kindof repair process that parallels the process of development. In adultsurvivors, development has been blocked. These clients must be helped to completethe developmental process. The therapist acts in some respects as a parent,providing a corrective experience. Recovery from trauma unfolds in three stages: The central task of the first stage is the establishment ofsafety. The central task of the second stage is remembrance and mourning. Thetherapist must help the patient move back and forth in time, from his/herprotected anchorage with you in the present to immersion in the past, so thatthey can simultaneously re-experience the feelings in all their intensity whileholding on to the sense of safe connection (with you) that was initiallydestroyed during the traumatic moments of the past.  While this is going on it isn't enough for the therapist to beneutral or non-judgmental about the abuse or their abusers - it is enormouslyimportant for the therapist to affirm a position of moral solidarity with thesurvivor.  You have to be the believer,the supportive parent, the witness that makes them finally feel understood andvalidated and not alone! The two of you construct a new interpretation of thetraumatic experience that affirms the dignity and value of the survivor.  This is the re-birth, the point where we canhelp them pick up where they left off in the original developmental process. The central task of the third stage is reconnection with ordinarylife. Per the psychologist Mary Harvey, there are seven criteria for theresolution of trauma: 1. The physiological symptoms of PTSD are brought withinmanageable limits - and I will come back shortly to how that is done2. The person is able to bear the feelings associated withtraumatic memories.3. The person has enough authority over his/her memories to beable to elect both to remember and to put memory aside.4. The memory of the traumatic event is a coherent narrative,linked with feelings. If the memories are implicit, then it is necessary tobuild a narrative around what they suspect happened and link that narrativewith the feelings.5. The person's damaged self-esteem has to be restored.6. The person's important relationships need to be re-established.7. The person has constructed a coherent system of meaning thatencompasses the story of the trauma - simply put she/he makes sense of it andof the people involved - those involved passively as well as actively. This brings me to the enabling parent.Clients come in hating the abuser but a lot of times they realizethat they are much angrier with the parent who let them be abused by notnoticing.  Because as they come to see it- the abuser couldn't help himself - the enabling parent knew better and shouldhave done something about it. How do people initially survive abuse? 1. Splitting - black and white thinking - good father and badfather or complete disassociation - there is a lot of disassociation amongabuse survivors2. Forgetting3. Denying4. Minimizing How do survivors cope as adults?1. Addiction2. Eating disorders3. Cutting4 avoiding intimacy5. Workaholism6. Compulsively seeking or avoiding sex7. Depression, anxiety, & Personality Disorders (Dissociativeand Borderline, in particular)8. PTSD - automatic triggers:So how do we help bring those within manageable limits? Here is afour-step model:        STOP and become aware.         CALM yourself        AFFIRM your presentreality and take time to try and figure out what set you off        CHOOSE a newresponse if possible. Or if another person is present - you may want to removeyourself. At some point, partners get confused with abusers. Partners canhelp survivors identify triggers to automatic responses and they can figure outtogether what the survivor needs from the partner -i.e. To be held, to betalked to, to be encouraged to express feelings, to be allowed to stay insideyour body without minimizing your feelings or yourself for feeling them  In summation, there are eight stages of recovery: 1. Deciding to do something or realizing that you can't go on likethis anymore2. Breaking the silence - with another individual (not necessarilythe abuser) or with your therapist3. Confronting the past through therapeutic processing (oftentimesmemories emerge and so this can be the most frightening stage)4. Stopping the minimization, believing that it happened andbeginning to trust yourself in the process5. Grieving the loss and getting past the pain6. Understanding that it wasn't your fault - beginning to forgiveyourself - starting to nurture yourself and take care of the child within.  7. Deciding whether or not you want or need to confront the abuserand doing so if it is necessary.  Ipersonally don't believe that you need to confront to get past it - ultimately;it’s the survivor who has to make that decision. 8. Reclaiming your life andmoving forward. "Change involves accepting our intrinsic vulnerability""Once we identify the ways we replicate past abuse, we canbegin to reduce the mystery and power our impulses have to control us.” Wendy Maltz - The Sexual Healing Journey Roni Weisberg-Ross LMFT2011http://www.roniweisbergross.com