Sex,and,the,Gods,Internet,Mark marketing Sex and the Gods of Internet Marketing
Automation technologies represent a fundamental aspect of any modern industry. The major types of industrial automation solutions, such as DCS, PLC, SCADA, and MES, are used on a large-scale in process and discrete industries.DCS technologie Awhile ago, I got an email from one of the "gurus" I follow and it shocked me. The gist of it was this person wanted to trade services for a household item.To say it floored me would be an understatement.What was worse was a few days later t
Whenever I mention my occupation to a non-wired person,it seems to generate the same response:"Isn't there an awful lot of porn on the net?"The question floats toward me like a smoke ring and formsa halo around my face, framing me as a pornographer,nymphomaniac, and all-round corrupter of innocence.I expect that from my mother, but it's not the public imageI strive to cultivate. I never have a good response ready."Hmmm," I nod coquettishly, "I'll have to look into that."The subtext of my vapid reply could be "Yes, the internetis a modern-day Gomorrah and I'm in it up to my quiveringloins," or, "I really haven't heard that, but I'm sopathetically hard-up that I'm gonna race right home andlook."Neither is what I mean to convey, but the truth is probablyjust as perverse...I've never really looked into sex on the net.I always plan to, but I never do. I think I've always beenvery nervous about what I might find. Who knows? Maybe Imyself would become corrupted - lured into the nether regionsof psycho-sexual depravity and cyber-sensual abandon...never, perhaps, to return.(I shudder at the thought. Several times.)Well, that sort of cloistered naiveté is fine when you'rejust peddling software and minding your own business, butnow that I'm prancing around like an e-marketing guru, Ino longer have the luxury of ignoring so large and infamousa part of our venue.THE DARING SEXPLORATIONS OF LINDA COX!I have shifted into my Lara Croft/Wonder Woman IntrepidFemale Explorer persona and I am now going to begin myConradian trek into the internet's dark interior.Wish me luck. Here goes...Okay, I'm back. Thanks for waiting. I'm prepared to reportnow.Yep, it seems that there IS some sexual content on theinternet. (Drink, please.) Rather a lot, in fact. (Makeit a double.) Funny I never noticed before. (Is it warmin here?) Actually, it's amazing there's room for anythingelse. (WHERE'S THAT FREAKIN' DRINK!?)Here's what I learned...1. I can never don my Lara Croft/Wonder Woman alter-egoagain now that I've seen them locked together inalt.sex.binaries.lesbian.actionheroes in a bout ofno-holes-barred lovemaking.2. Acts I consider sexually extreme and taboo, many peopleconsider warm-up.3. I will never use a public restroom or changing room again.I will never wear a skirt in public again. I will never lookat many salad ingredients the same way again.4. Certain professions should strictly enforce a much earliermandatory retirement age.5. Everything is a sex toy to someone... EVERYthing.6. I found Howard Sprague's private diary online. Goober andFloyd I always suspected, but Otis, Barney, how could you?7. Bondage is a cottage industry. I'm not sure what BDSM is,but it looks pretty damn uncomfortable.8. I accidentally learned how Vinnie, my pizza delivery kid,made ends meet before landing his present gig.9. Some things are better left unshaven.10. She-males are the damnedest thing since Mike the HeadlessChicken.THE GODS OF INTERNET MARKETINGAdult website marketers are the most in-your-face,take-no-prisoners, knock-down drag-out rock 'n roll marketerson earth. If I could sell software the way they sell sex, I'dbe living on my own island.IN PRAISE OF CENSORSHIPFrankly, I very much oppose adult content on the internet. Ithink it should be legislated out of existence. Here's why:Sex is the fire in the belly of civilization. If we allow itto become so commonplace that everyone gives up the hot andfrenzied pursuit of it, then humanity will just go sit on thecouch and watch pro wrestling. And then where will we be?Sitting on the couch watching pro wrestling, that's where!
Sex,and,the,Gods,Internet,Mark