When,Coaches,Get,Curious,about business, insurance When Coaches Get Curious about Resistance a Funny Thing Happ
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SometimesI get impatient when clients get stuck, but my impatience contributesto the problem. My business partner, VirginiaKellogg,has helped me understand the beauty of resistance. She says:Ifwe feel ourselves grinding away trying to push people throughtheir resistance, we can simply stop and gointo the experience of the resistance.Getting really curious about the resistance rather than trying to getpeople out of the resistance comes from tuning our listening to thatenergetic stance of arms out in front, holding something at bay.There is no need to doanything about it, no need to direct them out of it, and no need torescue them from their resistance.Personalcoach trainingInsteadof approaching resistance as something to fix, what happens when wehonor the positive intent of the resistance? Resistance shows up asbracing against something, but if we push back against theresistance or ask them to push through it, we miss what they areprotecting or embracing. We can invite people to exaggerate theirbracing by choosing a posture or a movement that embodies what theyare bracing against. As they hold it, they become fully present andexperience resistance in their bodies. At the core of theirresistance is something they cherish. Honoring the positive intent ofthe resistance reveals something precious.Bygoing into the experience of their resistance, they build awarenessand often a shift will happen when they get clear about theirunderlying needs and new choices. Beginning coaches often think theirrole is to be the cheerleader or the motivator. Ironically, peopleare more likely to transform themselves when we unconditionallyaccept them exactly the way they are. The experience of being fullyunderstood invites them into a space of self acceptance. When wecreate the space for clients to explore their emotional resistance,fresh awareness and new choices often follow, leaving them with asense of control, ownership, and partnership.
When,Coaches,Get,Curious,about