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Here, I want to share with you four tips utilized by influential speakers that can be utilized in any negotiation situation in your life. 1) Find CommonalitiesDuring the negotiation process, looking for things that you and the second party have in common can have strong effects on the outcome. When you share a commonality with someone, it’s more difficult for them to be confrontational with you during the negotiation process. For example, recently, I had a discussion with my own boss about entering a new position in my company. We didn’t see “eye to eye” on the requirements for the new position. However, during the conversation, he mentioned his appreciation and even enjoyment of hard work, I empathize with him and expressed my own goals and similar views. After this commonality was found, it allowed both of us to realize that although we had many differences, we also had many common interests. This realization changed the entire tone of the conversation. 2) ListeningSome top negotiating experts claim that the best negotiators aren’t the ones who question, rather, they are the ones who listen. It’s more important to empathize with the speaker and allow the speaker to see that he/she is being heard. During the negotiation process, if the opposite party offers a view contrary to your goals, many people will ask questions. However, According to 35 year negotiator, Richard Mullender, this is often the wrong approach. “Don’t change the conversation. It’s the dumbest thing you can do. The secret is the rambling. It’s the rambling I’m interested in.” Mullender further explains that restating the key points allows the speaker to know they are being heard. It also allows them to verbalize and clear their mind of all their thoughts. “Saying something like ‘I feel as if something I said upset you’. Or ‘I get the impression this is the problem.’ allows you to interpret their true emotion without offending them.” When people ask questions about the opposing party’s view, they are somewhat changing the subject. Furthermore, in response to the questions you pose, the opposite party is encouraged to think more deeply about their view, perhaps even further entrenching their views on the subject. Listening and reiterating what they say makes the other feel respected and helps build trust between the two parties. 3) Acknowledge Views & Offer AlternativesIf your view is being refused, a successful way to come to an agreement is to acknowledge the point made and offer a solution that may not have been considered. For example, if your customer can’t afford the price you are offering, consider saying something like, “I realize the money may not be available right now. But can we offer you a payment plan?” Offering them a plan for making an installment upfront and other payments in the future can encourage the customer to take quick action and finalize the sale. However, if you harden you views and insist of your terms, the opposite party will likely also harden their views. 4) Eye-contact & Seating ArrangementsTop negotiator Mullender also recommends not sitting directly across from the person to which you are speaking. During the course of the conversation, every now and then, people must look away. Sitting directly across from someone makes looking away more difficult. A 180 degree sitting position with two people sitting across from each other is confrontational. When you sit, you should sit slightly forward with your arms and palms open. Never cross your arms as this nonverbal communication tells your partner you are planted in your view and not willing to budge. Generally speaking, crossed arms shows disapproval and criticism. Finally, what you say should be backed up by how you say it. You can have a mediocre viewpoint on something. However, if you position your words in the right way, and carefully plan what you are going to say before you say it, you can avoid making mistakes. Listening is very important, but training yourself to listen and at the same time be thinking of what you are planning on saying next can be a key to success.
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